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When Words Really Hurt You
In this CHAPTER, we have talked a lot about the various types of cyberbullying, especially ones that extend their limits outside of the regular hate comment. It is true that online abuse comes in many different shapes and sizes, and simplifying this very complex and nuanced issue into just mean comments and messages is doing a disservice to the overall mission of anti-bullying advocacy. However, before drawing this CHAPTER to its conclusion, I wanted to spend some time talking about the ways in which words people say to you online can, actually, be so much more damaging than we give them credit for.
“Sometimes, Bullying Is Okay”
The Internet is a fascinating place: it’s where nuance goes to die, and black-and-white thinking is celebrated like the second coming of Christ. It is the perfect breeding ground for polarized thinking that is inherently dangerous, no matter what end of the spectrum you happen to be on. One of the ways this pandemic of lack of nuance is affecting us in the online world is how we fight to justify abuse of any kind by coming up with roundabout arguments that very often have something to do with what kind of person the target of the abusive behavior happens to be. There is one very topical example of this phenomenon that I decided to make commentary on around two weeks ago, and it continues to be the point of reference for this article as well.
The normalized usage of generative AI programs.
“Cyberbullying Is Not Real”
Perhaps one of the most universal arguments people have for discrediting cyberbullying is the one where they deny its existence altogether and encourage you to do something that isn’t really even a thing in today’s digitalized world.
“Just log off.”
Emotional Disconnect
The Internet allows people to do things without any consequences — or at least that’s what they try to make you believe. Even though we have been using the Internet on a regular, everyday basis for several decades at this point, we still fail to realize that what you put on the World Wide Web will have its implications on the real-life you as well. The screen grants us the possibility to feel protected and unseen in our actions, no matter the ways we exploit the system. This is one of the biggest issues we deal with in regards to online abuse and cyberbullying.
The Internet & Its Double Standards
Over the years I’ve been posting my art online and worked to become a worthy advocate for bullying trauma and abuse, I have encountered countless ways the internet likes to turn its back to victims of bullying, making them feel like they are the problem. This is obviously true for all victims of any abuse, but there are aspects to this issue that make bullying victims a unique target of such demeaning treatment. For this particular instance of poor online behavior, I want to explore the concept of “the perfect victim” and the insane standards it places onto victims of bullying.
Sickness in Joy
People find pleasure in a lot of different things: there are as many sources of joy in this world as there are individual human beings. For me, my main sources of pleasure are being creative, spending time with my friends, having coffee with my dad, watching TV with my girlfriend, going to anime conventions with my best friend, petting our two kitties with my mom, and losing myself in the music I love. Most of the things I adore in this life have something to do with the people who are the closest to me, and most of the things I despise have something to do with me being by myself. I think that says a lot about the sort of relationships I cultivate with those I love versus the fractured relationship I am forced to have with myself.
But when it comes to the ways other people in this world find their pleasure, there are a few that have never made any sense to me. One of them is being a proud, self-proclaimed abuser online.