LIFE UPDATE
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11
CHAPTER 12
CHAPTER 13
CHAPTER 14

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A Word With No Definition
CHAPTER 7: VALID ichigonya CHAPTER 7: VALID ichigonya

A Word With No Definition

Language is a wonderful thing for a variety of reasons, but one of my favorite things about it has always been how we as people can utilize language outside of its original confinements. The creative potential language has is entirely comparable to that of a blank page and a pencil, or an empty canvas on a drawing software. Language is merely a tool that human beings have developed in time to communicate with each other, themselves, as well as in order to express themselves in ways exceeding the necessities of conversing. Literature is as much as of an art form as illustration or painting; in Finnish, we sometimes even call literature "sanataide", translating to "word art".

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Tough It Out, Bitch
CHAPTER 7: VALID ichigonya CHAPTER 7: VALID ichigonya

Tough It Out, Bitch

It was around those very first times I went up to my teacher to tell her what kind of things my classmates were putting me through on a daily basis that I remember her giving me the ultimate solution to every one of my problems. 

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A Caricature
CHAPTER 7: VALID ichigonya CHAPTER 7: VALID ichigonya

A Caricature

 I absolutely despise the majority of representation bullying gets in the media. Every time I hear there's a new movie or TV show with bullying as a theme or major story component, I don't even want to have a look at it. It's extremely frustrating because somehow, I also manage to come across this content extremely often purely by accident.

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Bullying Is Not Your Kink
CHAPTER 7: VALID ichigonya CHAPTER 7: VALID ichigonya

Bullying Is Not Your Kink

 It is strange how often I see people equating bullying to degradation. The internet is fantastic for this kind of rhetoric, especially in the form of memes. While irony dominates the humor and jokes of the online world, I find it interesting and also beneficial to analyze this kind of rhetoric as something more than just that. Because humor in itself is a rhetorical device that's used to convey different messages and tones – some more truthful than others. And in the case of these bullying/degradation jokes, I believe that there is at least some truth to them. Let's explore that thought here!

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Life Update: Farewell, DBT
LIFE UPDATE ichigonya LIFE UPDATE ichigonya

Life Update: Farewell, DBT

 It feels completely unreal that 18 weeks has already passed. 18 weeks since I started going to DBT sessions, 18 weeks since my treatment actually took off. At the beginning, it felt like such a long time, and I was wondering if I'd even be able to concentrate on therapy for so long and so intensely. But now, those 18 weeks have gone by, and I had my last session on Thursday. 

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You Were An Easy Target
CHAPTER 7: VALID ichigonya CHAPTER 7: VALID ichigonya

You Were An Easy Target

Victims of all kinds have always had to defend their status as victims. They've always had to fight for the right to declare that they were wronged by other people, with no justification. Oftentimes, it is particularly those people that have not experienced any form of abuse who feel the most strongly about the victim label: no one becomes a victim for no reason, which means you must have done something to deserve it, or at the very least, to instigate the abuse!

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Don't Worry, This Is A Loving Punch
CHAPTER 7: VALID ichigonya CHAPTER 7: VALID ichigonya

Don't Worry, This Is A Loving Punch

 Violence is never an act of love. It's a myth that we have been force-fed, especially women and female-presenting people. That the reason that boy is being mean to you is that he just likes you. We've been conditioned to expect violent behavior out of the people closest to us. Almost everyone has some type of experience this with this, I'm pretty sure. 

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I'll Be of Your Service!
CHAPTER 6: DISCONNECT ichigonya CHAPTER 6: DISCONNECT ichigonya

I'll Be of Your Service!

 When you were a child, did you have an imaginary friend? Someone completely fictitious that you had created in your mind to keep you company? Kids are extremely creative and they have a wild imagination, and imaginary friends are one manifestation of that creativity. It is all part of the play of pretend, which used to be my favorite kind of play.

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I Don't Know How To Feel Anymore
CHAPTER 6: DISCONNECT ichigonya CHAPTER 6: DISCONNECT ichigonya

I Don't Know How To Feel Anymore

 Dissociation leads me to the feeling of emptiness very often. People with BPD experience a chronic feeling of "emptiness", as if something is missing within themselves, a part of their soul is lost, and all you have left is the hollow empty feeling of a shell. This is a common struggle for myself, too, even without dissociation. But dissociation makes it easily ten times worse.

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